


Bee Shrek Test in the Mall vs Obama

by shirpwhy



Category: Bee Movie (2007), Cory in the House, Johnny Test (Cartoon), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Movies), Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 01:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13536852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirpwhy/pseuds/shirpwhy
Summary: bee shrek test in the mall best anime





	1. Chapter One

The White House. A house in Washington D.C. that’s white. As Wikipedia describes it 

“The White House is the official residence and workplace of the President of the United States.”

The President of the United States did indeed live there, and today he was presenting a very important speech to the citizens of his country. That’s right, the country belongs to the President. His city now. 

President Barack Obama, who has been allowed to serve a third term because the 2016 candidates all sucked, stepped on stage and stood in front of the podium. The Vice President, Cory Baxter, stood by his side. The crowd silenced as President Obama began his speech.

“Oh, yeah. You gotta get schwifty. You gotta get schwifty in here. It’s time to get schwifty. Oh oh. You gotta get schwifty. Oh, yeah. Take off your pants and your panties. Shit on the floor. Time to get schwifty in here. I’m Mr. Bulldops. I’m Mr. Bulldops. Take a shit on the floor. Time to get schwifty in here. Hey take your pants off its schwifty time today.” 

Obama finished his speech and everyone in the audience cried. They had never heard a speech more inspiring. Oprah dried her tears with bread. Cory, however, was not crying. Cory had written that speech for his good friend Mr. President, and no, he does not mind some electric guitar. 

Reporters hurried to stop crying so they could begin asking Obama questions. One random reporter who I don’t really feel like naming raised his hand and asked Obama.  
“Mr. President, is the conspiracy true? Do you really possess some sort of inhuman power? pls tell me.” 

Obama chuckled. “You mean the Chaos Emeralds?” 

Obama’s eyes lit up and lasers beamed from his eyes, evaporating the entire audience, but sparing Oprah’s bread. Cory immediately panicked, he just wanted everyone to get shwifty, why did this have to happen? Cory ran to cover, pulling out his Littlest Pet Shop brand walkie talkie.

“Shrek, you’re never gonna believe this.” Cory said in a panic.

“Cory, it’s three in the morning, why do you have to be calling me now?” Shrek responded. 

“Obama just wiped out a whole group of people. He’s out for blood.” Cory was now hiding behind cover and had time to carry out a conversation with his ogre friend. 

“Obama?! What are we gonna do, Cory?” Shrek shrek’d in his shreky voice.   
Cory hesitated, then finally replied.

“We take him out.”

“So that means we’re going to have to-”

 

“That’s right,” Cory interrupted Shrek “assemble the squad.”


	2. Chapter Two

Underneath the West Orange Pavilion Mall is a hidden bunker. A bunker made to survive the zombie apocalypse for when that day comes. Inside this hidden shelter, a very important meeting is taking place. A meeting that Cory is about to join.

Cory unlocked the door with his keycard and the heavy door opened. Inside was a conference room, with chairs arranged in a circle around a table. Sitting in those chairs were members of Cory’s squad. Shrek, Johnny Test, Paul Blart, and Barry B. Benson all sat there. 

“Men,” Cory began “i’m sure you all know why you’re here.” 

Johnny Testing My Fucking Patience leaned back in his chair, he was wearing a VR headset, playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. 

“President Obama… Has committed a terrible sin…” Paul Blart shed a single, manly tear.

“What’s our blan?” Barry asked. Everyone stared. “Blan is a bee plan. It’s a bee dialect.” 

Shrek had a serious look in his eyes, and Cory eventually spoke up. 

“We have to take down Obama.” Cory looked distraught. 

Everyone sat in silence. Until a single sentence was heard.

“Cool story bro.”

It was Johnny. 

“So we take down the President? Yeah that’ll be easy. He kinda just killed all of the Secret Service.” Johnny took off his headset.

“Jonathan, that’s a very smart observation. I’m very proud of you.” Paul Blart commented. 

“Dude. Stop acting like you’re my dad. It’s not cool, bro.” Johnny looked upset.  
“So the President has no bodyguards now. Why don’t we just fly in and shoot him point blank?” Barry said said said said said said said said. 

“You don’t understand, B. Obama is a force to be reckoned with. He possesses the Chaos Emeralds,” Cory started talking. I’ve never played a Sonic game and refuse to look this up so i’m gonna start making shit up. “The Chaos Emeralds give its user unlimited power. He doesn’t need bodyguards. He can protect himself just fine.” Barry looked upset after hearing this. 

“I’m an ogre, Cory. I can easily smash his head in.” Shrek pounded his fist on the table to show off how strong he was. His fists were good for many things. 

Cory trusted his friends, yet he still had doubts. Could they really stop Obama? 

“So can I leave now? I got video games to go play.” Johnny said as he began to get up.

“Jonathan, I just got the best idea,” Paul Blart dad’d to Johnny. “Why don’t you go to the scene of Obama’s massacre and pick up Oprah’s bread.” 

“Why would I do that?” Johnny questioned.

“Ooh! Is it some sort of power source that will give us an advantage over Obama?!” Barry leaned in excitedly.

“No, i’m just getting kinda hungry.” Blart admitted. Everyone groaned. 

Cory stood up,

“If we can’t form a plan today, I guess we’ll meet up some other time. I have to go. I am the Vice President after all.” Cory began to walk towards the door.

Barry flew in front of the door, blocking Cory’s path.

“Cory! I have an idea! Take me with you! I may be just a bee, but i’m a small bee. I can easily sneak into the White House.” Barry was very confident in his plan. Everyone at the table seemed to like it too.

Cory thought about it for a moment, and then nodded in agreement. 

“Alright, Barry. I trust in you. You can hide inside of my jacket until we get there.” Cory then forcefully grabbed Barry and stuffed him inside the jacket he is suddenly wearing. The two of them left the bunker. 

“You’ve been awful quiet, Sir Shrek.” Blart leaned towards Shrek.

Shrek looked down. He wasn’t listening to Blart.  
“Well if we’re done for real now i’m leaving.” Johnny packed up his VR equipment and left. Blart awkwardly stared at Shrek.

“Well, I guess I have to go now. I do have a mall to protect, you know.” Blart looked at Shrek, waiting for an answer that never came. Blart’s segway magically teleported beneath his feet and he rode out. 

Shrek sat there. Alone. In darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a shitty chapter ending


End file.
